I’m a smart guy. Sort of. I am a college graduate (though that means less than it used to), a functional adult with a full-time job, and I have a decently wide knowledge about stuff. Yet, sadly, there are still a few areas where I am completely at a loss. These are areas where I honestly cannot figure out what is going on. Here at REO, we thrive on full transparency, so here is a list of Five things I do not understand at all.
1. The Stock Market
I have a business degree. I took hours and hours of college classes on economics, accounting, statistics, and all the rest, and I still have no idea how the stock market actually works or why it matters so much. Some of you are probably shaking your heads right now wondering how someone could be this dumb. Fair enough. I’m an idiot. That doesn’t change the fact the stock market feels more like a mob mentality with a heavy dose of manipulation than anything else. Or maybe I am just too dumb to understand the intricacies of it.
2. People who are obsessed with all things Disney
What’s the deal with these people? No knock on them, but this is something I will never understand. Ever. There are good, decent people that spend almost as much time at Disney parks as they do at home. It seems like every other week, they are headed to Disney World for a week-long get-away. What am I missing? Could someone please explain this to me?
3. Why cargo shorts are no longer cool
This one makes me mad. I like cargo shorts. They are almost always long enough – reaching down to my knees. They provide plenty of places for whatever cargo you need to carry on your person, and they are thicker, which is something I appreciate as I hate thin shorts that cling to my frame. Why did cargo shorts become lame all of a sudden? Who decided that? I reject their rejection of cargo shorts out of hand! Who’s with me?!?
4. Why people in the front row of a group picture always bend down and put their hands on their knees
Sometimes this is necessary if the people behind you will be blocked from view, but most of the time when I see these pictures on social media, there is literally no reason for the people in the front to strike this pose. This is another example of mob mentality in our country. At some point, a group of girls did this, the picture got shared on Instagram and other girls saw it and started doing it and they shared their pictures on social media and other girls saw it and started doing it and now everyone does it and everything is stupid.
I’ve included two visual examples of this insane phenomenon. I’ve used the latest photo editing technology to hide the identities of the people in the photos.
I write a lot. In the past few years, I’ve written over 200 articles for REO, with most of those having at least 500 words. Even so, the proper usage of the semicolon completely eludes me. Honestly, I probably should have used a few in this article but I have no idea where to put them. I aced the English portion of the ACT and I still have no clue how the semicolon is supposed to function. I am ashamed – and ignorant. Which is the worst kind of shame.
That’s a brief glimpse into my blind spots. What are some of yours? If you dare, share a few of the things you don’t understand in the comment section below. Come, let us console one another with words of encouragement. Or, we can just make fun of each other. Either way, it will be fun.
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