Saturday, December 21, 2024
SatireMiscThe FiveTheology

Five Christian Hacks to Prove You are Sold Out to Jesus

You are a Christian. Well, you’ve claimed Christianity for most of your life…Let’s put it this way: You believe in God, you are really grateful that Jesus died for you, and you try to be a good person most of the time. Well, I’m here to help you out in your spiritual journey! Here are five hacks to make sure that everyone around thinks you are fully committed to Jesus.


1. Go to church at least two Sunday mornings every month.

We all know that church attendance is a huge indicator of spiritual maturity. The more you go, the holier you are. Your best option here would be to go every Sunday morning, but that just seems extreme. If you knock out two Sunday mornings1 each month, you can easily explain away the two Sundays you missed. You were sick. You had to work. You were traveling. The list is endless. Two Sundays show you care about your church. It demonstrates a level of involvement that the average churchgoer does not possess.

2. Give money.

Don’t overdo this step, but it’s important for you to give money from time to time. It doesn’t have to be every month, and it definitely doesn’t have to be 10%.2 Yet periodic, public giving will show that you are willing to sacrifice financially for the work of the Lord. Make sure your giving is visible to others, but don’t make a show of it. That is off-putting at best. And be cheerful about it. God blesses cheerful giving!

3. Get involved.

I know what you are thinking: “We don’t have time to get involved.” “There is too much happening in our lives for us to spend a lot of time working for the church.” I feel your pain and I’m here for you. It would be impossible and completely unrealistic for you to be involved in any ministry that requires more than occasional participation. Look for the easy stuff. If you are a man, be an usher. Typically, there is a rotation so you won’t be expected to serve in this capacity more than once or twice a month.3 Work with the kids as an assistant to the teacher. Now, I would quickly caution you to commit to this only if you have to serve one month out of the year. If it is more than that, you need to keep looking. You could also serve as a greeter or as a nursery worker. Just be sure to check the time commitment before agreeing to these as well.

4. Speak up.

Those times you do show up to Sunday School, be prepared to offer some insight, a prayer request, or a simple observation. This shows everyone in the class that you are engaged, listening, and interested in the lesson. And the prayer request shows you care about spiritual disciplines. Be careful not to talk too much though. Nobody likes a know-it-all.

5. Take advantage of off campus activities.

Is your small group having a cookout? Be there. Is your church doing an Easter Egg hunt? Show up. Make these events a priority. The committed churchgoer does not miss these types of things. Hang out with people, have fun, and eat good food. You will look extra spiritual for showing up to a church event and you don’t have to sit through another boring service. It’s a win-win!


There you have it. There is no reason to go to extremes to show people that you are a fully committed follower of Christ. You just need to follow these five simple hacks and even the most skeptical person will be convinced of your sincerity and faith. You might even be convinced…


  1. Including Sunday school or whatever your church is calling that small group time
  2. Seriously! Who is going to know if you are giving 10% each month? They don’t have access to your bank account.
  3. This works out nicely with your twice a month attendance.
Phill Lytle
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Phill Lytle

Phill Lytle loves Jesus, his wife, his kids, his family, his friends, his church, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, 80s rock, the Tennessee Titans, Brandon Sanderson books, Whiteheart, Band of Brothers, Thai food, the Nashville Predators, music, books, movies, TV, writing, pizza, vacation...

3 thoughts on “Five Christian Hacks to Prove You are Sold Out to Jesus

  • steve lytle

    Great sarcasm, Phill.

    Reply
  • Stephanie McVay

    Hahaha!!! Love it!!!

    Reply
  • Ben Plunkett

    An army of ushers 10,000-strong!

    Reply

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