Millions Watch Porn Star on Sunday Night, Some on 60 Minutes
Continuing an unbroken record that stretches years, millions of Americans sat down Sunday night for around 30 minutes to watch a porn actress.
“I do this once a week usually. Sometimes twice” said one young man who wished to remain anonymous. “I’m sure I’ve seen Stormy Daniels before, but it was weird seeing her with clothes on.”
There have been over 7 billion web searches for pornography since the start of 2015. Also, 1 in 5 mobile searches is for pornographic content.
“Wait, she actually has a life?” another anonymous man commented. “I always thought her entire existence was for my personal exploitive use. I’m really surprised to think of her as, well, another human being.”
24% of smartphone owners admit to having pornographic material on their mobile handset.
Not everyone was happy with the porn star’s fully clothed, non-sexual appearance on 60 minutes.
A third anonymous man remarked, “I am a big fan of Miss Daniels, but I feel like she really sold out Sunday night. It seemed very shameless of her.”
64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch porn at least once a month.1
- All stats courtesy of Covenant Eyes. ↩
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Brilliant! Do you guys moonlight for the Babylon Bee?
They wish! I’m sure they pay better though.