Chick-Fil-A Introduces “The Self Loather” Chicken Sandwich for LGBTQ Patrons Who Hate Themselves for Eating CFA

Atlanta, GA– Giant, gay-hating, fast-casual chain, Chick-Fil-A, has just unveiled their newest culinary creation – “The Self Loather.” It is a standard CFA chicken sandwich topped with a slice of Monterey Jack cheese and Carolina Reaper pepper infused garlic aioli. Dan Cathy, CEO and President of the homophobic restaurant describes it this way, “We wanted to have a chicken sandwich for all the LGBTQ people out there that love our food, but feel guilty about eating it. This new sandwich is the best of both worlds. It’s an incredibly delicious sandwich, but due to the extra spicy additions to our traditional, and incredibly bigoted sandwich, it leaves a burn that will remind any LGBTQers that partake of it that their taste buds have placed them firmly on the wrong side of history.”

Chick-Fil-A is also planning on unveiling a second gay-friendly chicken sandwich in the fourth quarter of 2018 they are tentatively calling “The LGBTBBQ.” We will report any updates on that story as they become available.