Sunday, December 8, 2024
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REO Exclusive! Chipotle Announces Groundbreaking “No cups. No straws. No waste.” Beverage Dispensation Policy

Denver, Colorado: In its continued efforts to combat the rise of Global Warming and environmental devastation, the popular Mexican cuisine restaurant chain, Chipotle, has made dramatic changes to how it serves beverages to its customers. Read the press release here first:

“The science is settled! We have long known how damaging and horrible plastic and Styrofoam cups are to the environment. We now know the terrible toll that plastic straws exact on our oceans and waterways. Chipotle has always been at the forefront of social and environmental improvement, which we have proven with our ahead-of-its-time switch to biodegradable paper cups and our strong support for all disenfranchised communities. We believe our latest initiative is just further proof of how innovative, progressive, and dare we say it, inspiring we are. Starting in the Fall of 2018, we are unveiling our new “Communal Drinking Spout” at all our locations nationwide. Our new policy, “No Cups. No Straws. No Waste” is as follows: As customers get thirsty, we ask that they come to the front counter, tell us what drink they ordered, and we will spray said drink directly into their mouths. “No cups. No straws. No waste.” Just thirst-quenching, environmentally clean deliciousness. We trust that our loyal customers will see the benefits of this new plan and adapt their eating and drinking habits accordingly. We see it as a true win-win scenario for our customers and for Mother Earth.”

Phill Lytle
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Phill Lytle

Phill Lytle loves Jesus, his wife, his kids, his family, his friends, his church, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, 80s rock, the Tennessee Titans, Brandon Sanderson books, Whiteheart, Band of Brothers, Thai food, the Nashville Predators, music, books, movies, TV, writing, pizza, vacation...

5 thoughts on “REO Exclusive! Chipotle Announces Groundbreaking “No cups. No straws. No waste.” Beverage Dispensation Policy

  • Amy Lytle

    Until they stop murdering animals for food, I will not eat there. Also, they brutally rip apart plants for consumption.
    Chipotle only cares about profits! #Boycott #Awareness #PlantsHaveFeelingsToo

    Reply
    • Phill Lytle

      It’s all about awareness these days. We just need to be more aware.

      Reply
  • Ben Plunkett

    What angers me most is Chipotles reckless depletion of the world’s taco trees and burrito bushes.

    Reply
  • Steve Lytle

    Is the time coming?

    Reply

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