Sonic, Buoyed by Success of the Pickle Juice Slush, Seeks to Corner the Market on Wacky Menu Items

image_pdfimage_print

Delighted by the response to the pickle juice slush, Sonic now plans to offer up a variety of other shocking food options. Here are some of their more inspired creations:

 

Trash Burger – Employees literally walk out to the dumpster, grab some trash, slap it between two buns and deliver it to your car. Delicious!

 

Brown Bag Extra Special – 9/10 chance you will get a regular brown bag special. 1/10 chance you will get a brown bag full of mustard and ketchup.

 

Burnt Tots – Just like Mom used to make. The tots are engulfed in flames until they are smoldering ashes, then they are served directly to your taste buds. Yum!

 

Decent Chicken Sandwich – Nothing weird about this one, except that they just haven’t been able to crack the code on the chicken sandwich yet. Adequate!

 

Lunch Burrito – Tired of breakfast burritos? Ready to level up? Get ready for a lunch burrito, which is basically any regular lunch menu item lazily wrapped in a burrito shell. It costs twice as much, but you’ll love it.

 

Flat Dr. Pepper – They bought a two-liter of Dr. Pepper, opened the cap, put it back on and left it in the cooler for a month. Who will be brave enough to drink it?! FLAT!

 

Tap Water – It’s tap! GROSS!

 

Hamburger Sundae – Nothing says “frozen treat” like a big chunk of steaming hot burger slapped down right in the middle of it. Eat it up, meatheads!

 

Bacon Peanut Butter Shake – Basically just a peanut butter shake with what seems to be a solitary, torn up piece of bacon at the very bottom. Surprise!

 

Mystery Food – Someone found an unmarked food item with an expired date on it in a dark corner of the pantry. Nobody seems to know what it is, or what it used to be. You know you want to eat it though! Comes with a mystery drink.

 

D.A. Speer

D.A. Speer was raised in the woods of Dickson, TN by a group of wolves. He ate lots of beans and grew up quickly, learned muay thai and mercilessly fought his way through the ranks to become Dickson County's own king of the elves. Soon, he grew bored and bid them a tear-filled farewell, then sailed to a distant sea called FWBBsea where he met the girl who would become his wife. They got married, had kids, yadda yadda yadda, then his family ended up being international missionaries just outside of Tokyo, Japan. He kind of likes gaming, graphic novels, metal and theology/missiology.

One thought on “Sonic, Buoyed by Success of the Pickle Juice Slush, Seeks to Corner the Market on Wacky Menu Items

  • June 28, 2018 at 8:10 am
    Permalink

    I love the random inclusion of tap water. And yes, it is gross.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *