San Francisco, CA – In what has been called, “the greatest deception of the modern age,” a clandestine group of men that call themselves “The Patriarchy” has finally seen the fruit of their many years of labor. Since 1962, these men have worked tirelessly behind the scenes to indoctrinate, undermine, and rewire the female brain. In the name of “equality,” “justice,” and “feminism,” these movers and shakers have convinced a good portion of the female gender that exposing their breasts in public is not only good but is, in fact, the truest expression of female power.
“We never thought we could actually convince these dames that showing off their breasts was a good thing, but we figured it was worth a try,” said one of the chief architects of this grand scheme, on the condition of anonymity. He continued, “What really gets me is that these gals have decided that walking around without tops makes them equal with men, even though the only men you ever see walking around like that are bums or wackos. It used to take a lot of hard work to see the goods. Now, they are just popping them out for us because “equality” or something. It’s amazing!”
What is next on the agenda for these forward-thinking men? “I don’t want to say too much, but if things go the way we plan, we will soon convince these broads that the only thing men are good at is playing golf and watching sports…so the girls are going to do all the work and provide all the money in the name of equality and fairness. Men are going to be put on permanent “man-leave” because we are too lazy, too dumb, and too offensive to do anything else.”
Bold plans indeed.