When I was six years old, I asked my mom if she happened to have any invisibility potion that I could use. She said she didn’t. Now thinking back on that day, I wonder if she was shielding me against the evils that often occur when one harnesses the power of invisibility. Time has given me ample opportunity to contemplate such matters. Deep thought and research have provided me with five great reasons why it is probably best not to be invisible.
1. It breeds a toxic culture of invisibility.
There’s the inevitable popularity aspect of invisibility. If one person does it, more are apt to want to do the same, then more, then more. Before long its more popular than the Chewbecca Woman and everyone is doing it. Next thing you know we’re an invisible culture. The entire world will be a big ghost town—a smelly, noisy ghost town with everyone running into everyone else and everything. In addition, an invisible culture will surely lose all identity. And also Netflix will be massively boring, you know, with just invisible actors doing invisible things on an invisible computer screen. I don’t want to be a part of a world like that.
2. The risk of serious injury or even tragedy is astronomically greater.
The 1972 Disney movie, Now You See Him, Now You Don’t, depicts a harrowing situation that opened my eyes to a great danger of invisibility. In one of the finals scenes, the fleeing invisible bank robbers decide to turn their car invisible too. Unable to see them, the chasing police rammed right into them. In this instance only the cars were harmed. But this is the kind of thing you risk by being invisible. When people can’t see you, you’re asking for trouble. Plus, when you eat you’re liable to miss your mouth and poke your eye out with a fork.
3. Insurance companies don’t cover it.
Not very many people know that there is an invisible clause in almost all insurance policies that states that if any harm to a person, house, car, or whatever was incurred while that person, house, car, or whatever was under the cloak of invisibility, the insurance company is not obligated to pay. In fact, this is something unknown to your average insurance agent. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if I am the sole owner of this secret knowledge. It’s there, though, boy is it there.
4. It’s not nearly as fun as you might think.
Being invisible is all fun and games until the novelty wears off—and that happens pretty quickly. The normal things of life are so much harder. Taking a shower is harder. Eating is harder. A whole mess of things like that are way harder. Changing clothes is nearly impossible. Also, some shady individuals might think that being invisible is a great way to make crime pay. Nope. According to Now You See Him, Now You Don’t, a team of well-meaning, self-righteous college students will always foil your plans and make you turn visible again so bumbling policemen can nab you.
5. There is too much possibility of becoming non-existent.
Staying invisible for too long creates a mentality of non-existence. This is true not only you, the invisibilitee, but for others, the recipients of your invisibilization. It’s bad enough that you yourself will have a mindset of increasing irrelevancy the longer in your transparent state. Pretty soon you won’t bathe or shave, which is just as well since you are invisible anyway. Your depression will increase as you sink deeper and deeper into non-existence and irrelevancy. Like I said, this is bad enough, but others will forget you ever existed. Pretty soon you’ll be a regular George Bailey. You could reappear at this point, but by then your friends and family would be like, “Dude, who are you?”
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